Family Lawyer’s Tips for a Good Divorce
Even if the divorce was an amicable one, you should always at least consult with a divorce lawyer before filing your paperwork.
The term, “a good divorce” may seem oxymoronic. However, if you and your spouse have made the difficult decision to end your relationship, you can either spend a lot of time arguing and getting nowhere or split as quickly, amicably, and painlessly as possible.
Don’t Surprise Your Spouse
There are some situations such as those involving domestic abuse in which you may have to file for divorce without letting your spouse know. If it is at all possible, you should make your spouse aware of your intention to divorce them. It is not usually a good idea to surprise them by serving them with papers.
Do Not Rush Into a Settlement
When a person wants to end a marriage, it is natural for them to want to get it over with very quickly. It may be tempting to let your spouse keep whatever they want just to get the divorce over with. However, in the long run, you will want to be able to retain the property and money to which you are entitled. Your spouse should also have to retain their fair share of the bills
Do Not Date Until the Divorce is Final
There is a minimum six month waiting period from the time you file for divorce to the time the marriage is actually dissolved. It is customary for people to live apart during this time.
Finding a Good Attorney
Even if the divorce was an amicable one, you should always at least consult with a divorce lawyer before filing your paperwork. You and your spouse can hire an attorney together to help you with the paperwork and the division of property. They can also help you make a custody arrangement that is acceptable to the courts.
ways to make your divorce as painless as possible, according to a top divorce attorney
a managing partner at a top divorce law firm, about how to make divorce proceedings as painless as possible. Here are her four pieces of advice.
Explore alternatives to litigation
Instead of jumping into litigation right away, Newman recommends alternative options for settling a divorce out of court. In litigation, “you draft motion papers and you basically have to show why your other spouse is a terrible person,” she said. “That doesn’t bode well for any future parenting relationship, not to mention litigation is slow and very expensive.”
Mediation, one alternative, involves working with a neutral mediator. Each spouse can have an attorney of their own, but they’re less involved in the process. Mediators can also be used to settle specific issues within divorce proceedings, such as child custody.
“I tell clients if they come to me and have already settled custody, you just saved yourself hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees and therapy bills,”
Another option is collaborative law, where the couple agrees not to go to court and works with collaboratively trained attorneys. It’s also more interdisciplinary, involving divorce coaches and child specialists if applicable. The catch is that if either party says they don’t want to continue the process anymore, they can’t use those same attorneys in litigation.
Your Divorce Lawyer Is Not Your Therapist
Divorce affects every aspect of a person’s life. For many divorcing couples, the same income that once supported one household may now have to stretch to support two. For couples who are also parents, there may be the additional worry about the effect a divorce will have on their children. The responsibilities of parenting also change as parents go from sharing the work and joys of parenting with a spouse, to alternating between being a single parent and being newly-single when the children are with the other parent.
Strategize. A good lawyer should help you identify the outcome you hope to achieve in the divorce but must also advise you as to whether that outcome is realistic under the facts of your case and the law in your jurisdiction. Your lawyer should gather all the necessary information to understand your case, spot any potential legal issues, and identify the strengths and weaknesses.
Litigate. If you don’t achieve a settlement in advance of litigation, your lawyer will need to timely file all the necessary pleadings in court. Your lawyer may need to file discovery requests or take depositions so that the facts necessary to prove your case are made a part of the record in the event you have to go to trial. If you have minor children, additional pleadings related to child support and custody and visitation are required, and will require the approval of your presiding judge, even if you and your spouse have agreed to the terms. And if you go to trial, your lawyer should have the trial practice skills necessary to maximize your chances of a successful verdict, including preserving the record for appeal, should you need it.
What your lawyer should not do for you
If you think the above list of skills your lawyer needs to possess is a long one, you’re not wrong. But there is also a long list of things your lawyer can’t, or shouldn’t, do for you. There are services you may need as you navigate the divorce that your lawyer is simply not well-suited to offer you. Although some lawyers are drawn to the profession because of a desire to help people through legal and personal problems, your lawyer is not your therapist.
Be your friend.Your lawyer needs the detachment of a professional relationship, not a personal one, to represent you effectively.The potential legal issues for which your divorce lawyer is responsible are substantial. Your lawyer’s ability to manage those issues effectively requires a detached, objective, professional relationship. While the subject matter of divorce litigation necessarily involves an understanding of your personal relationships, the relationship you have with your attorney should not itself be too personal.
A DIVORCE ATTORNEY
A good divorce lawyer will help you end the bad marriage with a good divorce – one that will help you and your family begin a new and better day.
People are usually sad, afraid, and angry when this journey begins. That’s why watching our clients become independent, strong, and happy people at the end of the divorce is among the most rewarding moments of our job. A divorce may be one of the most emotionally and financially difficult experiences in your life. Nevertheless, judges are flooded with divorce cases. When you get to court, a Judge is simply interested in getting four questions answered quickly, completely, and efficiently.
Is there going to be a divorce?
The answer is “Yes.” But there are two kinds of divorces: irreconcilable differences (or “agreed”) divorces and fault-based divorces.
To have an agreed divorce, you and your spouse must agree on everything from who gets the house, to who gets the retirement account, to who gets the kids, to who gets the dishes. Chances are, if you had the ability to agree on that level of detail, at the beginning of a process you barely understand, you would not be getting a divorce in the first place.
This is simply a divorce where you acknowledge that not all issues are resolved, and you ask the Court to resolve anything you and your spouse are not able to work out during the process.
DIVORCE LAWYER
If you’re facing a separation and divorce, you’re probably scared, confused or maybe overwhelmed. There’s so many things to consider, besides the fact that life is now upside down. It can be extremely scary if you own a business, especially if you’re property rich but cash poor. A divorce can make the difference in whether you keep the doors open or not
Community property is often hard to divide.
The more you own, the more susceptible you are to losing it all in a divorce. That doesn’t mean a spouse will get everything, but if you don’t have a lot of liquidity, settlement can be almost impossible. During the time of a divorce, particularly for a growing business, it’s not easy to get a loan for a buyout even if you’re in a comfortable position.
There are many different types of evaluations.
When you’re going through a divorce, there are a variety of ways to evaluate assets. Your bank has one method that’s often low. On the other hand, the representatives for your spouse will provide a very, very optimistic evaluation. You need someone that knows how to secure an evaluation that’s fair to you and a good divorce attorney can do that. The appraised value of the business dictates the amount you’ll have to pay to keep it.
Liquid assets may not be as easy either.
Everything counts in a divorce. While you might consider that liquid assets will be easy to divide, consider things like your 401-k or your pension. That takes some maneuvering through the tax laws and knowledge of both divorce law and pension law. A good divorce lawyer will help with the details. There’s a right way to handle pension plans and retirement funds to avoid penalties from the government. Legal help is imperative
Don’t come out broke just to keep the peace. You don’t have to fight when you have a good attorney representing you. The attorney handles the settlement to make your life more peaceful.
Matters can be even more complex if you have children. The potential to lose custody is always there, particularly if you’ve been busy building a business.
Bitter estranged spouses often look for areas that hurt you most to create more emotional upheaval. Whether it’s your business, home or child, a divorce attorney can help prevent some of the damage.
Some times, it’s the small things that are important. Don’t let a spouse prevent you from securing your personal assets and mementos that you cherish. If you’ve been locked out of your home, a divorce attorney will help you retrieve those items.